Lyrics In Music

MicahMaria
Freshman
Detroit School of Arts

Music makes me think a lot. Whenever I think about music lyrics (mainly hip-hop), I think about the fact that today’s music degrades women. It appears that the more people listen to that type of music, the more they start to portray those images they see or hear.

Some rappers rap about women’s body parts and basically having sex with the women. Simply put, these lyrics are disrespectful to women. However, how you take it is really your business. If you feel or know that you don’t fit the description in those disrespectful songs and you carry yourself like a lady and are comfortable with yourself, those types of lyrics won’t bother you if that’s what you choose to listen to.

Among other things, I notice more and more that not only music influences some individuals, but the media in general can influence people. For example, not too long ago a grown woman told me about how a Beyonce’ video made her want to start exercising and loosing weight so that she could have a body like that. That just further proves my belief that music/media has an influence on everyone.

It’s clearly up to you how you take it. Just because you listen to a certain style of music does not mean that it describes or represents who you are as a person. Don’t misunderstand me, it still ties in to how you carry yourself. Remember not to let it take over your mind and not define you are!

Advice on the Opposite Sex

Mariama McGhee

Sophomore

UPREP High School

When you feel the butterflies in your stomach, there is only one word to describe this- boys. They are the opposite of who you are and they are the objects of your affections. Boys can be friendly, cruel, honest, dishonest, loving, and some are simply ignorant to the word love. Now that you’re a young lady, here are some things you need to know about the opposite sex.

To flirt with a boy could possibly lead to three outcomes. He wants your number, your attention, or he’s doing this for the fun of it. Do not and I repeat do not think that he has a crush on you. This display of acknowledgement will show that he’s doing this because it’s all a game. Young love is still a mystery that is still to be solved.

In high school girls tend to fight over a boy. It all starts with gossip and jealousy. Do not partake in these conflicts, because you might end up losing a good friend. Ignore the situation and if you want, step in and stop it from escalating. Stooping down to their level is out of the question.

No one is forcing you to not talk to boys. In fact there’s nothing wrong with that. All you have to do is balance the time you have with them and do your work. Don’t let this interfere in what you have to do. In other words, have more talk about the future and less talk about his phone number.

Be sure to watch out for the prying eyes of your friend’s. You already know that they love drama and will stick their noses into your love life. So what if you spoke to a life long crush, it doesn’t matter. Don’t give your friends a reason to put you down, because you won’t talk to a boy. If he’s patient then he should wait for a lady who’s all about business.

How to Use Conflict Resolution Effectively

Mariama McGhee

Sophomore

UPREP High School

Sometimes, females get along while the rest prefer to hold a grudge or shoot the evil eye at each other. What would happen if you and your best friend had an argument over a boy? Would you work it out with her? Or would you rather keep the argument going? If you choose the first choice then listen carefully. Conflict resolution is when you solve problems without using violence. Use your voice and not your fists. That is the one message that I try so hard to teach. Here is the plan.

In high school you are faced with the difficult challenge of being a young female teen. Your teachers expect you to get high marks while your friends expect you to ignore what you’ve been taught and go with the flow. If you get into an argument with a female classmate, then your friends would want you to fight her. You don’t want to because you promised yourself that you would stay out of trouble for the rest of the school year. You don’t want to fight her so instead you use your words.

When solving a conflict you need to approach this with great caution and care. What you say may make this a good situation or a bad situation. Think before you speak and then take the plunge. Use your body language to let the person know that you’re doing this without throwing the blows. They will take the hint and listen.

Your stance is also important. Make sure that you look at ease and relaxed. If you’re comfortable then they become comfortable. If your stance consists of folded arms, rolling of the eyes, and fidgeting then they’ll take the cue to keep on arguing. Put on a brave face and try not to look nervous.

When you speak, speak as if you know what you’re talking about. Don’t talk to them like they’re crazy, because that will make them think that you are insulting them. Talk in a professional tone and do not exaggerate. As you speak you will grow more confident in what you’re saying and your friend will stop scowling for once and take your words into deep consideration. This method has never come close to failing.

The last thing you must do is listen. Before you speak, you need to hear your friend’s side of the story. You may have done something to upset her or she had done something to upset you. Either way listen to what she has to say. Try this and I guarantee you this will all be over as quickly as it started.

Sex, Lies and Older Guys: A Female Teen Summit

Mariama McGhee

Sophomore

U PREP High School

The Female Teen Summit was held at Wayne County Community College on August 16, 2008. Everyone was getting started for the big day and so was I. A lot of girls came to participate in the summit and were given a topic on what they had to learn in their groups. I was given peer pressure to teach, since I was an expert on it. My first meeting with the class was respectful, because I was able to teach them the definition of peer pressure and what to look out for if you are faced with negative peer pressure.

The girls were very cooperative and explained what they were going through in their lives. A lot of them said that they were abandoned by their former friends because they were not part of the “in crowd”. I was amazed at the number of girls who spoke up about the issues they were facing and I immediately felt relaxed in telling them the things I went through. When the session was over all the girls felt relaxed and ready to face the world. Admitting their problems with negative peer pressure made them feel that they can always talk to someone about their problems. I was very proud of them and wished them good luck.

When I first started to teach the class, I was very nervous. At first I thought they would look at me as if I was crazy and call me a fraud. My anxiety was really getting to me, so I had to calm down and review what I had to say. All I had to do was be myself. If I was at ease around the girls, then they’ll be calm enough to talk to me.

I am glad that I was able to talk to a group of girls that had the same problem. It was good to know that I was able to give them advice on how to solve negative peer pressure. In the world that we live in, there are a lot of girls who never had that kind of luxury. I want to at least reach out to them and pass on my wisdom. Who knows, maybe one of them will do the same.

In conclusion the Provocative Woman Campaign was created for young teenaged girls. Why? Because we are sick and tired of seeing them get degraded and crushed. It is time for them to get the love and support they need. If not, then they won’t find any help at all. The campaign taught me a good lesson. Reach out to those who will learn and they will reach out to others.

Know Yourself

Terran Taylor
Junior

Crockett Technical High School

I would like to say welcome to the Provocative Woman Campaign blog. My name is Terran. I would like to say that the well being of teen females is important. Like many of you, I’ve been in trouble and broken the rules, but one thing I never did was dwell on the past. Once I started to realize that my life and my future were my number one priority, I switched it around and forgave myself for my past.

To base yourself around the street life or how your “friends” want you to be is so overrated. You have to look at it like this; 10 years from now where will that “friend” be who got you hooked on weed. Or, where is that “friend” when you are in juvenile detention after she told you to do something you knew was below you and who you are.

Teen females need to think things through before making a decision because one decision can be a major life changing one. Think about your family and see how the choice you make will affect them in the long run. Think of how it can affect you mentally, physically, and emotionally, because you have to be aware of what it can do to you. Lastly, think of how it will benefit you and your life in the future.

Learn how to make good decisions because the wrong decisions can make you suffer greatly. You where meant to live for you and to run your own mind, so do it! You only live life once, so live it to the fullest!

Trust Your Consciousness

Mariama McGhee

Sophomore

UPREP High School

Let’s continue our discussion on peer pressure. It’s a force that makes us feel shaky and out of character. It makes our friends force us to do things their way. We don’t want to, but we do it anyway, all for the sake of a self-centered person, who does nothing in return.

How do we solve this problem? It’s simple. We walk away from it all. To be honest, there are other ways too. For example, when your friends’ demands can endanger others or damage some one’s self-esteem, you can get advice from a neutral person or an adult ally or reason with them so they won’t hurt anybody.

I remember a time when I saw a senior pressuring a female freshman to have sex with him. When he asked her, she was silent for a moment. The girl was unsure if she wanted to do this act. “I don’t know what to say”, she replied, genuinely embarrassed. “Just this once, please do it for me”, the senior said with an impatient voice.

That incident was stuck in my mind for the entire school year. I was angry that the senior would dare ask such a question to her. This is how uncontrollable some of us are. We don’t even feel that we have a choice in the matter. What’s worse, our friends just sit back and watch. Well, I won’t.

We can not allow people to control our lives. I learned from my mistakes and because of that, I am more assertive, because I am a member of the NSO/Youth Initiatives Project. It’s a program that teaches leadership and conflict resolution skills to prevent violence and drug use. While in the program, you actually get a better understanding on why kids feel so insecure and why they pressure their friends. In the end, you will be ready to face the world.

Provocative Woman Campaign: Peer Pressure

Provocative Woman Campaign: Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure

Mariama McGhee
Sophomore
UPREP High


Peer Pressure is when someone is forced to do something they don’t want to do. Their friends are the main ones who cause their discomfort. Drug usage, violence, lying, and betrayal are part of peer pressure. The victim feels so challenged and uncomfortable that he or she completes their friend’s request. After that they are left with nothing.

Peer Pressure is also related to insecurity. Those who cause peer pressure are suffering from insecurity. They believe that they are not popular enough for anyone and anything. So in order to make themselves feel better they pressure their friends to do unpredictable things. This is a vicious cycle that goes on and on.

I go through this everyday and to be honest it’s not easy. I have to deal with students who love to get their way. They think I’m nothing like them (I don’t want to be anything like them). They pressure me to do things that make no sense to me at all. Fortunately, I learned to deal with it in a positive way.

For example, the book, Animal Farm, tells the story of a group of barn animals and their two leaders Napoleon and Snowball. The animals lead a revolt against the humans, but ever since they succeeded Snowball gets driven out and Napoleon pressures the animals very brutally. The animals are forced to do everything Napoleon wants them to do. This is a huge example of peer pressure.

In conclusion many teens are faced with this issue. They feel as if they can’t get help from others, let alone their own parents. Again, I felt the same way and I am willing to learn from my experience. I wish my fellow peers weren’t suffering form their own friend’s foolishness. To my fellow peers, let's rise up and help each other through insecurity and peer pressure.

We Need A Resolution..... It should start NOW!!!!!

V'Lecea "Queen" Hunter
Graduate
UPREP High School

STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!! Everyone just take a moment and think about the three letter words I’ve just mentioned. What does it mean to you? Does it mean, standing up for what you believe in, making a change in the community, or and/or having support from everyone around you to come together as one and encourage each other to do the right thing. Now, while you’re thinking about that let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is V’Lecea Hunter, but I go by the QUEEN. Queen symbolizes me being my own individual with a plan that I must hold. Having a plan that will help me become more successful and to be known as a role model the all teens that have been through the ins and outs of violence. I am a representation of violence, however, I have accepted that I once was apart of violence and now I am against it. I am 18 years old and I have been free from violence for three years now. I can truly say that it wasn’t easy taking the positive route, but I had to do it once my life was put on the line.

I will briefly give you an overview; I was apart of gangs that had no purpose, I dated boys that only wanted one thing, and I hung with girls that wanted children because their parents were out of their lives. I was sexually assaulted by a man with a black face, I had my dignity taken away twice, I was shot at, I fought to get respect, and lastly I had no respect for MYSELF.

It took me three years to change my attitude. NO, I didn’t do it by myself. I had help from Mr. Frank McGhee and being apart of NSO/ Youth Initiatives Project, which is a program that promotes non-violence and substance abuse prevention. This program has groomed me and helped me understand the value of leadership and commitment. Leadership is the ability to guide your peers into a positive path and to know what you want to do and how you want to do something. Commitment is your own ability to stick to a specific task or belief without allowing anyone to change your mind. Jumping to the plate when there’s a problem and not being scared to STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!

To go back to the question I asked you at the beginning, what does “STOP THE VIOLENCE” mean? It means, standing up for what you believe in, making a change in the community, or and/or having support from everyone around you to come together as one and encourage each other to do the right thing. I know you may be thinking like “those are the same examples she gave earlier”. Yes they are, I did this to make you think harder because I know that there are other positive meanings. So, basically I’ve just tested you. Being tested is something we go through everyday and since the outsiders see that we are falling, then our community is becoming worse.

So now the second question is, what can we do? What can we do to stop the violence in our communities? What can we do to show the outsiders that they can not win? What can we do to prove to the teens that they are not the only ones fighting? What can we do to protect everyone and everything that are valuable to us? We need to make a change and it should start now because I am tired. I am tired of seeing little children joining gangs just to gain respect, teens having to drop out of school because their getting bullied, teens just dropping out of school period! It’s crazy and we need a change.

To make a change, I and three of my other peers that are apart of the Youth Initiatives Project has started a campaign for young females. The Provocative Woman Campaign, this campaign is to let young females know that they are not out here alone and all of their challenges that they are facing, someone else is facing too, however, the issue that we are primarily focusing on is sexual assault. This is an issue in every community and some teens are scared to let people know what is happening or what happened to them, due to what other people may think or how people may treat them. So, I am here to let them know that I am a victim of sexual assault and yes, I was one of the people who waited a month before I told someone. But waiting a month I had to deal with the consequences of being pregnant, having a urinary tracked infection, and now my uterus is messed up for life. I’m not telling you this to scare you, but more so to show you that your not alone and I want young girls that are either in my situation, worse off, or in an easier predicament to be with me and allow their voices to be heard because until we speak out on our views on sexual assault no one will. We need to hear from you!! The web address to leave your comment on the campaign is http://www.provocativewomancampaign.blogspot.com/.

Being a teenager and knowing that violence in the streets is a way for most teens to gain respect, is being accepted by everyone. However, we can make a change by stopping it. Now, I know the same question that I asked earlier should be still squirming through your head. But when you actually sit down and think about it, please just know that there is a resolution to everything as long as you put your mind to it. You must first have a plan with passion, and then take action. So my challenge is what can we do? We need a resolution and we need one now!!!!!

Sexual Assault Part II

Mariama McGhee

Sophomore

UPREP High School

Sexual Assault Part II

Hello ladies! Today’s topic will be on resources you can use to get help if you have been sexually assaulted. Please read this carefully and act now if this crime has happened to you or a friend. Once again this information is provided courtesy of PLEA (Public Legal Education Association). After you read this speak up and spread the message.

Victim Services
Victim Services Programs are available throughout the community. These programs are designed to provide information and support to victims of crime. They also offer assistance and support to victims who are required to testify and can provide a liaison between the victim, the police and the court. They may also be able to provide compensation to victims for some expenses that result from the crime. Contact the Detroit Police Department’s Sex Crimes Unit Rape Counseling Center at 313.833.1660 (They are also providing resource information for the Provocative Woman Campaign).

Other resources include the following:

Detroit Police Department Police Community Services Unit 313-596-2520

Interim House Y.W.C.A. of Metropolitan Detroit - Domestic Violence P.O. Box 21904 Detroit, MI 48221 24-Hour Crisis Line 313-861-5300 Write D.V. Shelter at ywcaih@aol.com

First Step Western Wayne County Project on Domestic and Sexual Violence 26650 Eureka Road Taylor, MI 48180 Toll free help line 1-888-453-5900

If you need additional emotional assistance because you are a secondary victim (i.e. parent, friend) of a sexual assault victim, you may call any of the listed crisis lines 24-hours a day for support or additional referrals:

Interim House - (313) 861-5300

First Step - 1-888-453-4900 (toll free)

The Police Can Help

The police can try to help in a number of ways. They can take you to get medical attention, gather evidence and interview possible witnesses.
The police will ask you detailed questions and prepare a statement for you to review and sign. The police will use your statement and other evidence to try to find the person responsible for the assault. If the police are able to locate a suspect, they may ask you to help to identify the suspect. The suspect may be arrested and charged.
The police can also refer you to victim services and other available resources.

If you would like to also contact the NSO/Youth Initiatives Project (YIP), we can be reached at 313.965.6924. Always know, we are here to provide resources and help!

Sexual Assault

Mariama McGhee
Sophomore
UPREP High School

Hello ladies! Today’s topic will be on sexual assault. You will be learning how much harm it can be to females nationwide, if you don't speak up. The information on sexual assault is provided courtesy of PLEA (Public Legal Education Association). Please take a moment to read this information with utmost care.

What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is a crime. It involves sexual contact, such as kissing, touching, fondling and intercourse, without consent.
A person may be charged with:
sexual assault, or
sexual assault with a weapon, threats to a third party or causing bodily harm, or
aggravated sexual assault

What is consent?

Consent means to voluntarily agree to engage in sexual activity. When threats or force are used to obtain consent, that consent is not voluntary. If a person, such as your boss, teacher, doctor or family member, uses power they have over you to obtain your consent, your consent is not voluntary.

Consent must be clear. If you are too afraid to yell or resist or fight back, your consent cannot be implied. You have the right to decide whether to have sexual relations with another person.

You can consent to some sexual activities without consenting to all sexual activities. For example, you may agree to go on a date and to hold hands or kiss. You may have agreed to have sexual relations on previous occasions. Agreeing to any or all of these things does not mean you consent to other sexual contact. You have the right to say “No” to anything, at any time. No one has the right to force you into unwanted sexual activity, no matter what has happened before. “No” means “no” - always.

Sexual Assault is Wrong

Anyone who forces sexual activity on you can be charged with the offence of sexual assault. It does not matter whether the person is a stranger or someone you know, such as a date, friend, relative, spouse or partner. Sexual assault is a crime.

What to do

If you are sexually assaulted you should get help right away. You can contact the police, a doctor or sexual assault centre. A sexual assault centre can send someone to give you support and information, accompany you to the hospital and help you work through the process of deciding whether to report the incident to the police.

It is important to get medical attention, even if the assault did not involve sexual intercourse. If you decide to seek medical attention or to report the incident to the police, you should not clean yourself, change or throw away your clothes, comb your hair, or take any drugs or alcohol. If you do any of these things it may be harder to gather evidence about the person who attacked you.

Even if you do any of these things you should still seek medical attention and call the police. It is a good idea to write everything you remember down on paper. Your notes may be helpful if you need to give evidence at a later time.

If you were sexually assaulted a long time ago but didn't report it at the time, you may still decide to report it. The police can investigate and determine whether there is enough evidence to lay charges.

My next entry will address resources you can use to receive help. Stay tuned.

CALLING OUT TO MY FEMALE PEERS

Kenyetta Gaines

Youth Leader

NSO/Youth Initiatives Project


Hello my name is Kenyetta Gaines I live on the eastside of Detroit and I am a female teen living with challenges everyday just like every average female teen. The major challenges that female teens face today are very difficult.

One of the challenges is females being disrespected by young boys or even men. Some of us can’t even walk the streets without being disrespected or even worse. Men would try to talk to you even if you tell them you’re under the age of 18. It’s so much peer pressure out here and if you’re not strong minded you’ll fall for anything like drugs, unprotected sex, gangs and everything else. It’s like if you don’t do this or if you don’t do that, you’re not going to be cool. But, you’ll be the coolest person once you graduate from high school and go on with your career.

Female teens please don’t let anyone talk you into anything you feel you do not want to do. As a young female, you want to carry yourself with respect. Also have pride in yourself and confidence. There’s a lot of stuff out here that can really bring us down. Another thing is being your own leader. Lead with dignity, self respect and love. Never let any one tell you anything different about yourself. Love self and love others.

Everything that I have written is simply my experience with what I went through and I had to learn for myself. I am 16 years old. I have been with Y.I.P since the 8th grade but when I left middle school all that changed. I met up with old friends from elementary and middle school and got caught up with a gang. Would you like to know what that gang did to me? That gang got me all Fs on all 4 of my report cards. I stopped going to school. I fought other girls, while coming home from school, because that’s what I thought I should do. I was hanging around the wrong group of people. Now, I know better.

I got into a fight one day at school. My friend and I fought some other girls and got kicked out of school. After we fought, they called our homes. My mom contacted on my cell phone and told me to get home. Instead of listening to my mom, I decided to follow my friend and go to the house of a girl who had fought me earlier, since my friend lived down the street from her. We fought again and some how I ended up in a back of an ambulance truck. I got my face split open with a razor blade and I still have that scar, till this day. Every time I wake up or pass a mirror and see the scar on the side of my face, it reminds of that day, November 10, 2006, my mom’s birthday and the day I got cut. Do you want to know the silly part about all of this? The girl I called myself helping and who was my friend at the time did not a scratch on her body that day. I have a scar because I jumped into some one else’s mess that had nothing to do with me. A gang will not get you anywhere but dead or in jail.

I can say I learned a lesson, because when I see that scar on my face it makes me want to do the right thing. It makes me want to say o.k.; another day’s journey and this journey will be a blessed one. I always look in the mirror and say to myself, “You’re beautiful, intelligent, confident and willing to do anything, if you set your mind to it. I decided to get back into Y.I.P and here I am today telling you my story. I thought I would never tell anyone what I just shared with you, but everyone has a story about their life. Youth Initiatives Project will help you through anything you need in life. The program prepares you for the future. It teaches you how to grow up into a respectable smart young female and to see life more clearly.

Our goal is to get as many young females as possible who are in need of help and a positive perspective. We have resource information. Also, we defiantly give support, group sessions and leadership training to girls who want to leave gangs.

I’m putting out a call to all the female teens to be a part of this campaign and make it work.

If you need any information please contact the NSO/Youth Initiatives Project at 313.965.6924.

Peace

Provocative Woman Campaign

Provocative Woman Campaign
Mariama McGhee
Sophomore, UPREP High School


I’m Mariama McGhee, a freshman at U Prep High School, and a citizen of the city of Detroit. I am a member of the NSO/Youth Initiatives Project and an organizer of the Provocative Woman Campaign. We will share our perspectives about our work for the campaign’s blog. My friends and I didn’t volunteer because we had to. We volunteered because we wanted to.

The Provocative Woman Campaign was created for the young women in our community. We want to tackle issues like peer pressure, sexual assault, and violence. A lot of girls are afraid to talk about these issues, but if I tell them my story that will encourage them to speak up. This will even help them empower themselves and gain better confidence. If that happens then this will motivate them to spread their newfound wisdom and knowledge to others.

We are doing this campaign because the pain inflicted on our ladies has got to stop. Too many of our females are lost and alone. They are forced to believe that to do the right thing would mean the end of their reputation. To make things worse, they're not getting enough support from their family and friends. This causes them to lose faith in their ability to help themselves and others. Sadly, some have forgotten their duty as role models to the young ones.

There is a good reason why we created this blog. It can be a good resource for our peers to get help and to speak out. Girls who admire what we are doing can read our messages and can post their own on the blog. Soon many other females can present their ideas and move them to more exciting heights. Our blog will become a haven for ideas and support. That is what people are looking for in our youth. During the summer of 2008, we will have workshops, forums, and rallies to provide resources for our young ladies in need of help. We also will reach out to organizations that can give us resource information.

As you can see our program is dedicated to making sure our young ladies learn the lessons of leadership. Leadership comes with patience and passion. People will follow you if you’re serious about your beliefs. The campaign will be successful if we become passionate about our dreams. That is what makes us different from others. If you are a young lady between 12 and 18, contact the NSO/Youth Initiatives Project at 313.965.6924 for more information about campaign activities.
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